LSv2: Hymns, Life, and Death
Hey journal. After what feels like a long time, it's time to release 2 songs that hold so much meaning to me: Lie When You Love and Freedom. The music, the melodies, the flows, the lyrics: words fail to encapsulate all that these songs are about. But I'm gonna try anyway!
These songs are about my past. As a preacher's kid, my foundations in life are inextricable from church. If my family wasn't in church, we were on our way to church. If my parents weren't justifying parental decisions with the Bible, my sister and I were thinking about the big man watching us in the sky like Santa Claus. And if I wasn't leading hymns in front of the congregation, I was listening: to prayers led by the brothers, to "amen"s and "yes preacher!"s from the sisters, to that one guy who can't keep from coughing during every dramatic silence. But I was usually leading hymns.
These songs are about music. My relationship with it has changed so much over the years, through congregations, honors choirs, and award-winning a cappella groups, and especially since I started making music as SimplyRich in January 2020. People often ask me who my biggest musical influences are. Some artists that top my list are Take 6 and Usher, but the hymns I sang every Sunday for like 17 years became the real foundation for how I sing. And I can't deny that anymore.
These songs are about death. Looking at my old hymnal now, maaaan some of these songs are depressing af! I was 7 years old in church singing "this world is not my home, I'm just passing through" and "swing low sweet chariot, coming to carry me home". Of course as a kid I was like "this is normal 🙂". And it was. Whether it was family or congregants, people died and were dying. Which was terrifying. The message reiterated from my dad (at home and in the pulpit) and my religious elders left me conflicted: "if you sin and then die without repenting, you go to hell, so always be ready!" but also "this person died 'right with the Lord' so they're in heaven with our Father". So death is either absolute victory orrr eternal damnation. Hmm...
These songs are about life. My present is one in which I have access that those who came before me could never even dream about. Access to myself, to my mind and body. Access to get what I need and pursue what I want. Access to choose peace. At times I have resented my religious upbringing. It instilled in me ways of existing that are so incompatible with how I experience the world now. But I wouldn't be who I am now without those foundations. What aspects of it are inextricable from who I "am"? What aspect do I want to uproot and replace with something more aligned with who I want to become? What does "God/god" mean to me now?
These songs are about freedom. Freedom to engage with my past with kindness, empathy, and gratitude to my parents, ancestors, and myself, rather than shame, grief and regret. Freedom to pursue a future that aligns with what I see as my greatest potential, in which I am a living testament to what I value. Freedom to choose peace and acceptance in my present: I've already succeeded. I'm ready, I'm free.
And so are you.
